The Importance of Self Love

Oct 8

Written By Penny Wilcox

I never really thought about self love when I was growing up, it was an alien thing to me, never talked about in my generation. If you put yourself first then you were “selfish”, life was always about serving others and doing your duty.

All of these years later I realise how important it is, because everything comes from the “self”.

As I have become more aware, it has enabled me to notice how I treat myself, how I value and speak to myself, and the realisation that many of my choices along the way have not been in my best interests.

My upbringing was pretty strict, I was always expected to be the “version of Penny” that my parents wanted me to be.

It is interesting how words and actions of others shape your view of yourself, especially as children. I can see how I grew up with low self-esteem, putting my own feelings last, and being a people pleaser because I had never learnt to love and respect myself. I definitely learnt to avoid any kind of confrontation and still do, although I am much better at setting boundaries now.

When I was young, I allowed myself to be treated in a way that was traumatising and often cruel. My feelings of being unworthy and not good enough always came to the surface, and in a way I was pretty much a participant, clinging onto someone or something because I was desperate for approval and to be loved. This then led to me being crushed by rejection or criticism as I continued to search for validation, and to find someone who truly loved me. Thinking back, I was a beautiful little girl with a loving heart who was too scared to voice my opinion and be myself. It was easier to wear a mask and be a version of myself which I thought was acceptable, and others would love me for.

What I didn’t see was right under my nose - myself! The one person who never let me down, who comforted me and has always stood by me. The one person who has a good heart, a kind soul, a generous nature, and who can remove herself from any situation now that she understands how to love herself.

So how did I get there?

Learning to love yourself isn’t a single step, but a journey of rediscovery and care.

Practice self-awareness - How do you talk to yourself? Are your thoughts kind or critical? Do you mentally beat yourself up? When you catch negative self-talk, gently start replacing it with compassion - talk to yourself like you would to a good friend that you love.

Set healthy boundaries - Loving yourself means protecting your peace. Learn to say no without guilt, walk away from people and situations that drain you, and prioritise your needs without apology. Boundaries are not walls, they are self-respect in action.

Celebrate your strengths and progress - Make a habit of acknowledging what you do well, even the small things. Keep a gratitude or self appreciation journal. Over time, you will start to see that you are capable and deserving of pride in who you are.

Forgive yourself - Everyone makes mistakes. Holding onto guilt or shame only keeps you stuck. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing what happened, it means choosing peace over punishment.

Take care of your mind, body and soul - Rest when you are tired. Move your body in ways that feel good. Feed yourself nourishing food. Spend time doing things that light you up. Self-love grows through consistent gentle care.

Surround yourself with love - Spend your time with people who uplift you, not those who make you question your worth. Seek connections that are kind, honest and supportive.

Remember self love isn’t about perfection - it’s about acceptance. It is waking up each day and deciding that you are enough, exactly as you are, while still growing into who you want to become.

If you are ready to start your journey to self-love, please join me on Tuesdays at 6.30pm GMT on Zoom for a weekly 30 minute meditation, at a cost of £5.

Self love meditations are one of the most powerful tools for building inner peace, confidence, and emotional balance.

These meditations can:

Strengthen your self worth Heal emotional wounds

Improve your mental health Build resilience and inner strength

Deepen the connection with yourself Enhance your relationships

Encourage gratitude and self-acceptance

For more information please email me pennywilcoxserenity@gmail.com

Penny Wilcox

The Importance of Self Love

I never really thought about self love when I was growing up, it was an alien thing to me, never talked about in my generation. If you put yourself first then you were “selfish”, life was always about serving others and doing your duty.

All of these years later I realise how important it is, because everything comes from the “self”.

As I have become more aware, it has enabled me to notice how I treat myself, how I value and speak to myself, and the realisation that many of my choices along the way have not been in my best interests.

My upbringing was pretty strict, I was always expected to be the “version of Penny” that my parents wanted me to be.

What I didn’t see was right under my nose - myself! The one person who never let me down, who comforted me and has always stood by me. The one person who has a good heart, a kind soul, a generous nature, and who can remove herself from any situation now that she understands how to love herself.

So how did I get there?

Learning to love yourself isn’t a single step, but a journey of rediscovery and care.

Practice self-awareness - How do you talk to yourself? Are your thoughts kind or critical? Do you mentally beat yourself up? When you catch negative self-talk, gently start replacing it with compassion - talk to yourself like you would to a good friend that you love.

Set healthy boundaries - Loving yourself means protecting your peace. Learn to say no without guilt, walk away from people and situations that drain you, and prioritise your needs without apology. Boundaries are not walls, they are self-respect in action.

Celebrate your strengths and progress - Make a habit of acknowledging what you do well, even the small things. Keep a gratitude or self appreciation journal. Over time, you will start to see that you are capable and deserving of pride in who you are.

Forgive yourself - Everyone makes mistakes. Holding onto guilt or shame only keeps you stuck. Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing what happened, it means choosing peace over punishment.

Take care of your mind, body and soul - Rest when you are tired. Move your body in ways that feel good. Feed yourself nourishing food. Spend time doing things that light you up. Self-love grows through consistent gentle care.

Surround yourself with love - Spend your time with people who uplift you, not those who make you question your worth. Seek connections that are kind, honest and supportive.

Remember self love isn’t about perfection - it’s about acceptance. It is waking up each day and deciding that you are enough, exactly as you are, while still growing into who you want to become.

If you are ready to start your journey to self-love, please join me on Tuesdays at 6.30pm GMT on Zoom for a weekly 30 minute meditation, at a cost of £5.

Self love meditations are one of the most powerful tools for building inner peace, confidence, and emotional balance.

These meditations can:

Strengthen your self worth Heal emotional wounds

Improve your mental health Build resilience and inner strength

Deepen the connection with yourself Enhance your relationships

Encourage gratitude and self-acceptance

For more information please email me pennywilcoxserenity@gmail.com

What is Reiki?